Scribbles

1527280818 Feels I’m feeling the urge again because if it weren’t for my stupidity /inability to control myself yesterday, today I would’ve been doing the blue with a friend, and he would’ve brought them over. I’m glad I told him about my hospitalization because that was a deterrent for me as of now, to ask him to bring them over anyway. He knows a little about my situation, so I don’t think he’s going to come over any time soon, which is GOOD FOR ME. How I got through today’s 3 urges: I shut my eyes and found a voice within myself that was basically kind of like a military man and they shouted “Don’t be a pussy, today is day one of being clean. You are more than these drugs and you’re gonna get fucked in the ass if anyone finds out. You can’t lock the door to your room so there’s a high chance of someone finding out”- this was a lie I told myself (#fakeittillyoumakeit) because I knew my dad wouldn’t check on me if I brought a friend over because idk shit with him isn’t grea...